It’s finally over. (Like a week ago now, I know, but ive been busy)
I know there’s thousands of people that saw the finale and thought “really? what?” But as much as I was expecting to, I didn’t.
The fact that there were 35 people crammed into our Mom’s living room and we paused the DVR like a million times for people to refill drinks and pee, made for a very rollercoaster emotional atmosphere.. We all screamed and yelled and cried a bit (oh Charlie!) and laughed. I realized at the end of the night I didn’t care about all the “mysteries and questions” that I always theorized about with our friends. I was ok that the ‘sideways’ was part ‘afterlife’ or whatever…
Because I realized it wasn’t about the island for me after all.. It was about the scene in the church..
Community. Friendship. Love.
For the past few years I’ve been watching a television show with my family and friends.. Some friends would be there a season or two, some just a few episodes, but it was a common denominator between a bunch of random people who might not have hung out otherwise. And at the end of the show, I looked around and realized that was what i loved the most..
All of my life I’ve been attracted to film, books, media that speaks of community, of relationships formed in suffering and battle.. I never know it at the time, but I finish a book or series and see that there’s a thread of a soul-environment in what I experienced.. and it’s much, much richer when I experience it with other people… I feel that way at concerts, ballgames… Even though sometimes the “reason” for being in a place might be trivial and frivolous, the community we feel at those is wired into our very souls.. We were created to be together.
I see my Creator in creation, yes.. But also in art, media, stories… And I know it’s because all of us, no matter where we’re from or what we’ve been through, all feel the same at some level because we all have the same soul spark from Him.
I watched “The End” with my friend, Sharon, the next morning after the finale. Just on Hulu, on my computer, in our PJs at my dining room table… and as Jack closes his eye for the last time, we both tried to hold in a sob, looked at each other and ran to our bathrooms seeking tissues… I was thinking “Jeez Amber! What’s with you? You already knew this happened!” and then realized I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that this TV show was the reason I’ve connected with some of my closest friends and was the ‘mind vacation’ for my sisters and I over the most stressful, toughest years of our lives…and I was grateful.
And at the same time was ready to say goodbye.
If this makes you laugh, that’s okay. I just find that writing what i’m feeling is theraputic.. and sometimes, someone else can relate. 
All of Lost was summed up for me in the pilot. But I didn’t know it until the end.
“We have to live together, or we’ll die alone.”
-amber liz.
I said earlier I feel as though the creative part of my soul was empty and i didn’t know it was until it was filled with something so beautiful.
